Show me Your glory

I knew I wasn’t ready to be awake yet. I turned over on my right side and squinted my eyes open just far enough to see that the sun wasn’t ready to be up either. I’d been waking up early with a song on my heart the last few mornings. I really wanted to appreciate the morning, and rise up to do my devotions and writing while the rest of the house slept. What a struggle.

As I began to roll back over and resist the call of the new day, I heard noises from the boy’s room. I laid still and listened intently. I heard it again.

Throwing off the covers and making a dash for their bedroom, I turned on the hall light to see which one it was. Caleb, my youngest, was still asleep on the bottom bunk. On the bed above him Deegan was covered in the partially digested, now mostly liquid meal he’d eaten the night before.

Without thinking I went in to Mommy mode, bringing him down, undressing him, cleaning him off, and ripping his bed apart. How could this be? This poor kid just got home from the hospital six days ago, after spending four days there.

Deegan, who fought for his life at three months old (and at least twice since then), was diagnosed with a rare life threatening metabolic condition. A skin biopsy performed by two major hospitals in the country confirmed the diagnosis by the time he was five months old. He would endure many hospitalizations thereafter.In fact, each time Deegan has a vomiting illness he gets admitted to the hospital. His body becomes acidotic, and his energy levels crash, QUICKLY. Lethargy is an understatement. When a child can’t lift his head to vomit, or stay awake through a blood draw, it’s beyond lethargic.

Here we were facing the demon again.

I brought Deegan to my bed where I tucked him in, gave him the bowl designated for puke, and asked him how he was feeling. He just wanted sleep.

I text his dad to let him know that he had thrown up. These messages always mean, “I’ll meet you at the hospital.” There hasn’t been a time that he’s thrown up and not had to go. The longer the delay the worse off his veins are and the harder it is to get the IV going, which is exactly what he needs to help his body that can’t seem to help itself.

Figuring I could at least give him a couple of hours of rest, I laid next to him. I started to fall back asleep when again he began to toss and turn, whimpering for the bowl. Quickly I grabbed it for him and began to rub his back as he wretched a second time.

My poor baby.

Maybe we shouldn’t wait.

After wiping his mouth off, and laying him back down, I looked into the bowl of liquid. Less than a cup, I thought. They are going to want to know at the hospital.

My normal routine at this point would be to start texting family, getting on social media to call forth the prayer warriors, and packing up for the hospital.

Before I began the routine, I felt something else rise up in me. My goal for the New Year was to seek God first. FIRST. In all things. I invite God in, but usually after I try to fill His role first.

I rolled over toward Deegan, laying my hand on his belly, I prayed. Quietly at first, and pretty routinely. But the Holy Spirit arose inside of me, reminding me of the scripture God had given me on Christmas Eve.

“Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. He sent them to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.” (Luke 9:1-2 NKJV)

Owning my identity, I raised my voice with authority, casting out the sickness that gripped God’s child, my son. I bound the enemy and the symptoms of vomiting. I loosed the healing power of God with faith. I believed everything I prayed.

I thanked God.

I removed my hand from his belly and rolled over to write in my journal. A few minutes later Deegan began to stir, in need of the bowl. I gave it to him and without doubting for even a breath, I laid my hand on his back and simply thanked God some more.

I put the bowl away from us, without looking to measure how much was in there this time. I continued to journal. I included the lyrics that I woke singing, “I lift my hands to believe again. You are my refuge, You are my strength. As I pour out my heart these things I remember, You are FAITHFUL GOD FOREVER. Let faith arise, open my eyes, let faith arise!”

Finishing my entry I rested my head, closed my eyes, and fell asleep next to my son. I must have been exhausted because I slept until eleven. The house was still quiet. I rolled over to check on Deegan. He hadn’t thrown up again. I expected him to sleep, but wisdom told me I had to get something in him.

Waking him up, I was delighted by the energy he had, and his desire to eat. He got right out of bed and like any typical day went straight for his electronics. It wasn’t much later that I found myself calling for him to, “settle down.” Boys will be boys.

I saw God’s glory yesterday. I saw a miraculous healing because of the faith and trust I put in my Daddy’s word. I used the power and authority given to me, in His Sons name, without wavering.

My husband reads five Psalms and one Proverb a day to fit them in to one month of reading. In the beginning of our marriage he encouraged me to do the same. I was so inconsistent. With the New Year I committed to one of each per day. Being the third day of the month I read the third Psalm, only to find myself in its text.

“I cried to the Lord with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me. (v 4,5 NKJV)

Know who God is.

Know who you are.

 

 

 

 

Praying for the terrorists

It is so awesome to see so many people on social media united in solidarity for Paris. It is even more awesome to see so many people PRAYING for Paris. But I can’t sleep because my heart is so heavy with this question, of all the people praying for France, how many are praying for the enemy?
I know, it sounds crazy right?
Pray for the terrorists who kill HUNDREDS of people?!
Yes!
Didn’t Jesus come to seek and save those which were LOST? Can’t we stand united in prayer for a revolution in the hearts of those who are led astray with hatred and power? Isn’t God able?!
We are under the impression that through war or retaliation WE are able. But it is NOT by might, NOR by power, but by HIS Spirit. HE IS LOVE. The greatest war we could rage is through prayer, being of one mind, one accord.
God brought to remembrance Proverbs 21:1, “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.”
That means that the God of love is able to turn and cleanse the hearts of the wicked. For it is God’s will that NONE should perish.
It is so easy for us to pray for the good guys, but it is the bad guys who need our prayers the most.
We pray for those who have been attacked, but what if we prayed for the attackers? Perhaps if we unite in prayer for the enemy we wouldn’t find ourselves mourning loss, but rejoicing for that which was once lost.

Behave Like a Christian
9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.
17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I encourage you to pray for the enemy!
God bless ALL of His creation!

No where to turn but to You

Lost in a world I don’t belong, I’d sought for pleasure and sought for peace
And where I looked, temporary was found
Nothing seemed to stick around.
Things I gained, things I loved, rapid changes, loss and pain
Oh how tired the chase made me.
Until I was lost in the darkest of seas.
With nowhere to turn I had to look up, but when I looked up, was directed within
to a hardened dark place that my heart used to be
I praise You my constant for ever-changing me.

Continue to “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
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Nope, I’m not always right…

I love music. It would be very rare to enter my home and not be greeted with the sound of song. I love singing as well. It would be very rare to find me working and not hear my vocal chords dance. My boys recognize this and delight in turning the stereo on for me. My oldest son, Deegan, took delight in informing me that I don’t know the words to all the songs, and sometimes I “get them wrong.” I had to laugh at his bold insight. I also had to confess, indeed I do get them wrong sometimes, I am just “not perfect” I said.

Simultaneously my boys sang, “Yes you are!”

As my Spirit leapt inside me, I saw the love God loves me with. Just as my kids see me as perfect (for now), so my Maker does also (always).

Sure, I sometimes get the words wrong; I make mistakes. But the love that abounds for me exceeds all that, and they never meet. They are as far as the East is from the West. (Psalm 103:12)

I also saw forgiveness. I am forgiven for being imperfect. I don’t have to dwell on the mistakes I make along the way. I don’t have to live in condemnation or fear. (Romans 8:1) Because though I get it wrong sometimes, I am perfect in His sight. (Colossians 1:28)

His sight is all I want.

Be encouraged this day my friends, you too, though you get it wrong sometimes, are perfection.

“God doesn’t make junk.” Ethel Waters

He makes perfection.

PS. He made YOU!

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The safe road

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I love country driving.

Tonight was the perfect night for some. The sky was sending small, gentle drops. The last light of day was loitering about. I was in unknown country. I wanted to explore.

The part of town I am familiar with, is the prison and its surrounding block. It is a marvelous sight, but the life behind the marvel is daunting. I wanted to discover the country outside of those walls. I began to drive, turning up one back road I once was acquainted with. (I had slept in its corners one night in my car.)

I turned up the music and opened the sunroof. The trees along this country were thick and green. Farm fields were freshly laid with manure, the rows of beauty overpowering the smell. The farmhouses were picturesque. I was lost in the awe of it all. Gorgeous.

Before I knew it, I was deeper and deeper in the country. I loved it, but I wanted to be able to make it back. Cell service was sketchy. I began to fear, but for a moment. I was calmed with these words, “Don’t worry, I’ll get you where you need to go.” I said, “AMEN!”

I kept driving, relaxing in the beauty. My soul resting. Before I knew it, I was where I needed to be.

That drive, with all the favor of beauty, was a blessed reminder…I can be in foreign country and not fear. I can rest, trusting in Him to get me where I need to be. I am on the safe road. I don’t have to know where I’m going. I might have a dirt road or two. But, I don’t have to worry…I’m going where I need to be.

My hope is in…

Bible Reading: Isaiah 55:8-13 hope
I am known for being swept away in hope. Hope is exceptionally beautiful. Hope swoops in on a day of weakness and lifts you up in the strength of it’s arms. Hope floods the dreary darkness with untold wattages of light. Hope is a blessed friend.
As such a lover of hope, I’ve learned an invaluable lesson- be mindful of what you put your hope in. I, more often than not, was putting my hope in MY thoughts and in MY ways. This would carry me only so long until I was once again dropped in the gloomy darkness, sobbing, and wondering how I’d made it back to this place of despair.
That is until I found a far more brilliant hope, evermore beautiful than I’d known. It goes a little something like this, “O Israel, hope in the LORD; for with the LORD there is mercy, and with Him is abundant redemption.” (NKJV) I like how the NLV says it, “O Israel, hope in the LORD; for with the LORD there is unfailing love. His redemption overflows.”
I remember hoping for the great love of my life to swoop in and carry me away forever. I even put my hope in a specific person to fulfill that love. My hope was in MY thoughts, and so I made my own ways. My ways were not always pure, and sometimes my ways compromised my own deep, internal desires. My hope betrayed me. My hope was false.
It wasn’t until I recognized this, and I repented and surrendered, that my hope was redeemed. The unfailing love of my merciful Father swept down and delivered me to the arms of the great love of my life. NEVER did I think I would fall in love the way I did, but, His thoughts are not my thoughts, nor are His ways my ways. How I praise Him for that! Today, I am loved so greatly, and without compromise or impurity. I am loved with the love only God bestows.
My encouragement is this, you WILL face heartache, trial, and tribulation, BUT when your HOPE is IN THE LORD, it won’t, it can’t, betray you! “So shall My Word be that goes forth from MY mouth; it shall not return to Me void.” Relinquish your own ways, renew your thoughts, and hope in the Lord. “For you shall go out with joy, and be led out with peace..” This is where I want my hope. Amen.