Perspective

But I have trusted in Your mercy;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation,

I WILL sing to the Lord,

Because HE HAS DEALT BOUNTIFULLY WITH ME!!

Psalm 13:5  (Emphasis mine.)

I walked away. A little girl. 14. How could there be a God who has already put me through so much? Abuse. Extreme physical, mental, emotional, and most recently sexual. He took my Mother. Now, I live with my abuser. Where is God? I can’t see Him.

I walked to church, by myself. A fourteen year old. I loved Him. Believed in Him. Trusted Him.

Where was He?

I’ll make my own way. Men will love me when I give them my purity. I need to provide for myself, I will steal. I need to remain attractive to men. I will diet. I only weigh 115. But still I need to lose weight. I love food. I will just purge myself. I can’t do that. I just won’t eat. I can’t do that either. I’ll just live on diet pills.

Give me alcohol. I can’t have fun without it. Narcotics numb me. I fall in love with them. Addicted. Feeling unloved I take nine at a time. My thirteen year old sister hides them on me. One day I snort them. I’m surely going to die.

Pregnant. A dream come true. Surely I can turn my life around. I do. I am so in love.

Three months old baby almost dies. Life threatening illness.

No where to turn, I turn back to God. Begging. Bartering. Give this child his life back. Spare Him and I am Yours again. Committed. Yours.

I keep my word, when He saves my son.

Faith tested.

Fiance cheating. Son almost dies two more times.

What will I see? Where will I look?

I have life. My son has life. I have endured. I am saved. I am loved. I am an overcomer. He is my Strength. My life, though hard, is blessed beyond measure. I can see. I am not a victim, but a VICTOR!

Many mountains climbed. Fog so thick I could barely see. But I kept climbing. Refocusing. Set my Eyes on Him. Eyes FIXED on Him. Heart FIXED on Him. Mind FIXED on Him.

New Perspective.

HE HAS dealt BOUNTIFULLY with me.

And I praise Him.

Be encouraged, my friends. Fix your eyes, heart, and mind on the bounty. You’re a warrior. A victor. Proclaim it. Own it. LIVE IT!

You are loved beyond measure.

Psalm 29:11, John 3:30, Numbers 6:24-26

 

 

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The safe road

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I love country driving.

Tonight was the perfect night for some. The sky was sending small, gentle drops. The last light of day was loitering about. I was in unknown country. I wanted to explore.

The part of town I am familiar with, is the prison and its surrounding block. It is a marvelous sight, but the life behind the marvel is daunting. I wanted to discover the country outside of those walls. I began to drive, turning up one back road I once was acquainted with. (I had slept in its corners one night in my car.)

I turned up the music and opened the sunroof. The trees along this country were thick and green. Farm fields were freshly laid with manure, the rows of beauty overpowering the smell. The farmhouses were picturesque. I was lost in the awe of it all. Gorgeous.

Before I knew it, I was deeper and deeper in the country. I loved it, but I wanted to be able to make it back. Cell service was sketchy. I began to fear, but for a moment. I was calmed with these words, “Don’t worry, I’ll get you where you need to go.” I said, “AMEN!”

I kept driving, relaxing in the beauty. My soul resting. Before I knew it, I was where I needed to be.

That drive, with all the favor of beauty, was a blessed reminder…I can be in foreign country and not fear. I can rest, trusting in Him to get me where I need to be. I am on the safe road. I don’t have to know where I’m going. I might have a dirt road or two. But, I don’t have to worry…I’m going where I need to be.

Little Star

The object is to win. Right? That was my mentality as I sat down at the Candy Land board to play with my two boys.
My youngest, 3-year-old Caleb, was seeking something else. He was focused on the little star space of the game. He desperately wanted to get that card so he could move there, “Cause that’s my favorite name.”
He was approaching that space quickly, in fact, he landed on the yellow space just ahead of it. When the next card he drew took him past “the little star” he moaned aloud. I quickly reminded him he could still get the card, he would just have to go backwards. He started cheering, “Oh, oh, I hope I get it, I really hope I get it.” I asked him, “Caleb, is it more important to you that you get the little star, or that you win?” His reply melted me, “Get the star.”
When Caleb’s very next turn came “the little star” card was waiting for him. He got it. He did go backwards,  slightly, but it was joyous to him, and also to me. I asked him, “Who calls you that name, Little Star?” In all his preciousness he responded, “You, of course.”
How short and misplaced our focus can be. Ahh, but for the wisdom from a child.
My focus today is to “Become as little children.” (Matthew 18:3)
Thank you my Little Star.

In love and trust in Him, Samantha Grace