It’s been four days since my baptism and the only words my spirit knows are, “I am blessed”. I went to that baptism believing that I would be changed forever. I committed to a brand new life, and a brand new self. My soul sister, Loribeth, stood on the right hand side of me in the bitter cold water of Seneca Lake chanting repeatedly, “Never the same”. Her words broke through my own prayers and thoughts, and it was the last thing I heard before going under. Like any true soul sister, she knew what I needed and she declared it for me. In our agreement, I found God that day.
That is not to say I hadn’t known God until that day, but this day, I found Him. I felt Him. Those burdens that I had carried even that morning were immediately replaced with a heart filled with freedom and peace. My vision was not on the things I was missing, or on the future, but it was filled instead with the sight of those people who stood along the beach. Those people who were there specifically for me.
This redefined “family” that stood before me, enduring the rain falling from the cloudy gray skies, may not have included, parents, grandparents, a husband, a daughter, or people that I desperately missed in my life, but it included people who love me and support me with all their heart. It included people who know my heart and supported my devotion regardless of their own personal beliefs. Before me stood a unit, one body, of love.
That day the longing in my heart was filled, the pain released, and love gripped me like a hungry bear. The victim that lived inside fled, it swam away under the water. A new child was born that day. A beautiful girl, full of strength and love, rose out of the fresh lake water. This newborn had no shame but was filled with grace.
I have woken everyday since with a desire to live in each moment, pushing aside any of my future plans. I joyfully accept my path. I give thanks for who I am, where I have come from, and where I am now. I am grateful for every past event, every past relationship, and every mountain.
I give thanks for every love that has ever been felt in my heart. I give thanks for those people who are currently in my life, and all those that have crossed my path, for through each and everyone of them I have gained wisdom. I give thanks for the blessings I have, and for those to come. I give thanks for my pains, for I know they are temporary. I will never be the same. And for that, I give the greatest thanks of all.
I pray for those who, in their own act of love, stood next to me as I committed my great act of love, in faith. I pray that you receive the same freedom and healing I have experienced. I pray that you feel the release of toxins from your heart and mind that once created torment and ill health. I pray that our paths never separate, but if they do, that you will everyday be reminded of the love that my heart holds for you. I pray that the grace that has taken over my life leaves all of you enveloped in it. I pray that your witness of the brand new me, encourages you in your own journey. May peace, love, and joy abound in your lives.
All my love,
“There is music all around us, we just have to listen.” ~August Rush